Tanesh reached out to me through Facebook. There is so much more she wants to tell, to help others. She felt compelled to tell us that it is her experiences as a child growing up transgender. This is her story, her words. She wants her “words and truth to be heard so that God gets the glory and that someone somewhere finds Christ.”
I am very moved by this courageous woman, by her strength to overcome her past and be true to herself, and her values. POWERFUL! Social change needs to happen at the grass roots. That means with each one of us, on a day to day and moment by moment through our thoughts, words and deeds.
Tanesh’s beautiful soul is an example of what we are missing when we judge people simply for being who they were born to be. The reason to end intolerance, bring acceptance and continue to drive social change is because of stories like Tanesh’s. Fighting for social change in an often harsh and discriminating society, I was compelled to reach out to share this story. Tanesh’s words resonate with me, and is core to why Work MY Mojo is working hard for society to accept all people as they truly are.
Tanesh Watson Nutall is a member of Facebook Transgender is Normal group, and gave me permission to re-share a post she shared (author unknown) about how community was central to the pain and struggle she encountered through coming to love herself as she is. This is Tanesh’s story.
God bless your beautiful being, Tanesh.
Tanesh shared a story that is so raw and real. It is uplifting and inspiring to those who are questioning their sexuality, and their own struggle being who they are born to be. I hope re-sharing her post resonates with you as well.
“Recently someone said that Gay Christians are the worst and they could be delivered if they wanted it "bad enough".
You have positively NO IDEA how hard it is to be a little boy in the black Pentecostal church hating yourself because you have feelings that you can't explain but are told are evil. You can't tell me I didn't want it bad enough because you weren't there the countless Sundays I went into the prayer lines and had to repeatedly go thru the embarrassment of telling the altar workers I had the 'spirit of homosexuality' when I hadn't even had sex yet.
You weren't there when I was constantly being bombarded with questions of who I was 'touched' by and who raped me when in fact no one had done either. You weren't there when I was the brunt of everybody's jokes about never having a girlfriend when the very ones laughing I was having.
You weren't there when I was being surrounded by the saints 'casting the devil' out of me & physically responding as if I had truly been possessed, all the while not knowing whether it was a real demon or me just acting out what I thought was the norm in those instances. You weren't there when I was screaming, crying and purging, thinking that this evil demonic entity was living in me and caused me to be something that God Himself hated.
You weren't there when I was laying on the floor of the tarry room begging God to make me straight because I loved Him and didn't want to die & go to Hell.
You weren't there when they told me just to marry and have kids & the Lord would honor it when we all knew He wouldn't. You weren't there when I'd go to church, sing and shout but go home & attempt suicide because I figured I was hell bound anyway so why waste time if He already doomed me. You weren't there when I went through all the years and years of failed attempts only to be told 'I didn't want it bad enough'.
You have no idea how bad I wanted it. You have no clue... You weren't there for the 22 years that I smoked crack and with each and every hit I took I would beg God to bust my ❤️ you weren't there when I prostituted my body on the streets of downtown Los Angeles Skid Row hell on earth that's right I said HELL.
You weren't there in 2010 when I finally had enough. Yes it's true it was a Watch night Service and I was surrounded by several people but you weren't there. I entered a place that truly takes FAITH FAITH that allowed me to push past everything I I ever heard about God and in that place I connected to my creator God.The God that created me and knows everything about me the God that loves and excepts me for me.
YOU weren't there...
YOU weren't there because there was no room for unbelief. I called to God in the name of Jesus the same name that you use and once I forgot about what you told me about the name my life changed and it will never been the same. Faith is the substance of things hoped for Well I don't hope for salvation because my salvation has already been paid for and I except the free gift.
What gives YOU the right to call on the name of Jesus to say you have faith in that name to say that you believe that his blood washed YOUR SINS away but I cannot use that same name and BELIEVE what gives YOU that Right. Most of my counterparts decided to just marry, have kids and sleep around on the low which is the unspoken acceptable way of being 'delivered' but I thought God wouldn't honor that either. It has taken me years to get a grip on it all, truth be told I still have doubts some days and revert back to the little boy at the altar asking God to 'fix me' but I said all of that to say this.
The "struggle" of 'homosexuality never had anything to do with how 'I' personally felt but had everything to do with how ugly and disgusting the church made me feel. It had little to do with wanting to be saved but moreso to be embraced and accepted by the church that for whatever reason I loved to my core even though I wasn't sure truly loved me back.
Be very careful with your assumptions, some things are deeper than you think...
My true story my words”